Where's Miley?
by Whurmy
Summary: "You what?" No, no she couldn't say that. She couldn't love me. She knew better.


**Author's Note: So I'm really, really sorry that I haven't updated Tame Me. As you probably know, my computers are broken, and this one goes back to my sister's tomorrow. My mom **_**should**_** be re-attempting to fix the Dell within the next few days, so hopefully I can update Tame Me soon.**

**I was initially going to write a song fic for Take Me Away by Avril, but I was listening to Thinking About You by Emily when I wrote this and that's definitely the song that inspired this. I think it turned out wonderfully, but I'd kill to have your guys' opinions.**

**-x-**

I groaned and dropped my backpack by the door and flopped on the couch. Today had sucked so hard. Normally, Thursdays were amazing. I had choir with Miley on Thursdays. We'd joke around with Sarah and Joannie and we knew that Mr. Gettys had a soft spot for us since we never got in trouble for messing around so much. But today wasn't a normal day. Today Miley and Sarah sat on the far right side of the room while me and Joannie stayed on the left. None of us dared get further than half way across the room. Oliver smack in the middle, trying to get us to get back into our "lame version of a foursome".

"Hey, honey." I glanced up and smiled briefly at my mom, standing against the archway leading to the kitchen. "How was school?"

"It was alright." I lied, but kept the smile on my face. She nodded, but I think she knew I was lying as good as I did.

"Where's Miley?" Oh, that's how she knew.

"Sick." I lied. She nodded again and returned the kitchen after flashing me another one of her famous motherly smiles, silently telling me that whatever it was would be okay. She had no idea.

**-x-**

I bounded up the stairs, leaving my backpack filled with clothes and other necessities for my mom and brother to lug up the stairs. I was in too much of a hurry to be bothered with carrying luggage. I finally got to the third floor, breathing heavy and stopped for just a few seconds.

"They seriously need to fix the damn elevator." I choked out, then bounded down the rest of the hallway and flung the door open to apartment 11.

"Daddy!" I squealed and flung my arms around his neck. God, I missed him. I loved my mom, don't get me wrong, but I already don't get enough time with him and him being gone for a month did not sit well with me.

"Lilly bear!" He exclaimed, lifting me off the floor and twirling around in a circle, just like in a movie. He sounded _almost_ as excited as I was. Almost. But that's just not possible. "It's been way too long." He said with a grin while returning me to the ground. He peeked over my shoulder when he heard Matt kicking the door open with his foot. A frown instantly fell over his face and I turned around to see what he was suddenly so concerned about. I almost dropped my smile, too. _Oh. That._ "Where's Miley?"

I turned back to face him and asked myself if I really wanted to lie to my dad. Lying to my mom was easy, but lying to Daddy is a whole other ball game. The concern and worry etched in his face told me that, no, I definitely couldn't lie to him.

"We're going through some stuff." I said simply. It came out even more monotone and emotionless than I planned. Nice. He raised an eyebrow, but I said nothing. After a few moments he nodded and gave me another quick squeeze before letting go and and smiling again.

"Anyone up for ice cream?" He always did know just how to make me feel better.

**-x-**

The door to the small room in the nursing home creaked open, the bolts and hinges begging to be oiled or replaced. The room was dimly lit, the soft glow from the single lamp was being over powered by the changing lights coming from the television. I avoided looking at the figure in the over sized, over stuffed La-Z Boy arm chair. This wasn't how I wanted to remember her, with the curtains shut so the light didn't hurt her damaged eyes, with her thin white hair becoming nearly transparent, with her nightgown nearly swallowing her small frame completely. Granny had a lot of things wrong with her, and they all hit within the last ten years. This wasn't Granny. Granny was the one who took me to the park on Saturday afternoons after watching cartoons with me. Granny was the one who I spent hours baking with, who helped me pick out my first puppy, who taught me how to draw, how to write, how to sing. Granny was the first one I came out to. She'd be the first one to go, too, it seemed. Well. Not the first, I suppose.

"Granny?" I whispered, kneeling down next to the chair that she seemed to always be in. I don't think she even moved to get to her bed. She loved this chair, and I had no doubt in my mind that she would have taken it with her _everywhere_. I grimaced at where that train of thought seemed to chugging away to and laid my hand on hers. "Granny." Her eyes fluttered open and she rolled her head to smile down at me.

"Hey there, Lilly bear." She croaked quietly. She cleared her throat and smiled again. I smiled back weakly and forced down the tears. She started that nickname. For the longest time, she was the only one I let call me that. But when Granny started getting old, Daddy said it to make me feel better. It's become normal for him to call me that, but when he says it those warm Saturday afternoons come flooding back. I shook off the memory again, it wasn't my time to cry. Not yet. She looked up and noticed that no one was with me. She seemed to be thinking for a moment before she back at me. "Do you want to talk about it, dear?" I shook my head, but I couldn't keep the tears back this time. "Are you sure?" I shook my head again. I did. I just didn't want to physically say it. "Let's talk, dear." I nodded and sat back on my butt, pulling my now numb feet out from under me and crossed my legs. "Where's Miley?"

**-x-**

_"So tell me again why you wanted to go the beach at three o'clock in the morning?" I questioned with a yawn._

_"Are you saying you want to go home?" _

_"No!" I yelped. She smirked and raised an eyebrow. "I mean, no. We're nearly there, I didn't leave the house in my pajamas just to go for a walk. I'm gonna get something out of this, even if it is just to see the ocean."_

_"Oh, don't act put out, you love the ocean. You're enjoying this as much as I am!"_

_"Why're you enjoying this? You hate the ocean." Well, that wasn't entirely true. She liked looking at it, but going in it was completely different in her mind. She highly prefers pools over the ocean. I don't even see how that's possible, though. Nothing beats the ocean._

_"I dislike swimming in the ocean, being around the ocean is not a problem. Plus..." She squeezed my hand a little bit and walked just a tad closer. "I'm here with you. I'd go anywhere with you." She whispered and ducked her head. I think I blushed more at this than she did._

_"Leave it up to Miles to get all mushy on us." Her head whipped up and she raised her free hand to her chest in mock offense._

_"Moi? Mushy? Ha! I don't know what you're talking about." I chuckled and bumped her shoulder gently. We were quiet for the several moments it took to get to the shoreline, and we still didn't speak while we just stood there, staring at the dark waves. It was a windy night with dark skies, dark streets and dark waves._

_"Why on earth did you want to go for a walk tonight? It's not exactly a summer wonderland out here. I'm expecting a serial killer to pop out any minute." She scoffed and let go of my hand. I thought I irked her, but the slight tug she gave my pant leg when she sat on the sand told me otherwise. I moved behind her and joined her on the sand. It was instinct for me to put my arm around her and my head on her shoulder, __just as it was for her to_ _put her hands on mine and lean back just the slightest bit._

_"I wanted to talk to you about something." I barely heard her quiet voice over the rolling of the waves. I nodded and nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck. I hummed in response and felt her shiver against me. I smiled and kissed her neck once._

_"Go on." She swallowed hard and got a death grip on my hands._

_"Promise."_

_"Promise what?"_

_"Promise me that you won't get mad." I pulled her impossibly closer to me and held her tighter._

_"I promise." Even if she "cheated" on me, I couldn't get mad. We were best friends with a hint of something else. The spark had been there from day one, even if we didn't understand what it meant all those years ago, it was there. Over the years it grew, grew into something that neither one of us could handle, something we didn't understand. At one point the tension was too much and we didn't talk for nearly a month, but it felt like a century. The subject was unapproachable, we were best friends. And best friends didn't flirt, they didn't give each other lingering hugs and too tender kisses on the other's cheek. When Oliver had had enough of us almost completely ignoring the other's existence he did was he was known best for. He hand cuffed us together. The eight hours after that were filled with little talking, stolen glances and, eventually, a scary admittance of feelings. We'd both missed each other, and the lingering hugs, more than we could imagine and agreed that we'd give this a shot, even if we weren't sure what it was. Over the last six months, the stolen glances had become obvious stares and the kiss on the cheeks had become full make out sessions. But I was scared to claim and be claimed, so we told everyone that nothing had changed, we were friends, and to ignore the heavy breathing and sex hair when we came downstairs._

_She breathed in deeply, held it for a second, then let it out slowly. A calming exercise her dad taught her when having to deal with the likes of Mikayla. I tried to calm myself down, I got the feeling this was either important or very, very bad. Or both. I squeezed my eyes shut and prepared for the worst. _Don't go on tour, don't go on tour, don't go on tour..._ I chanted in my head._

_"I love you." I breathed out a sigh of relief and almost laugh- _Wait, what?

_"You what?" I whispered. No, no she couldn't say that. She couldn't love me. She knew better._

_"I know you aren't going to say it back." She whispered back, threading her fingers around my own and holding them tight against her stomach. "And it's okay. But you have to know that."_

_"M-Miles." I stammered. "This changes everything. You were supposed to tell me before it went this far."_

_"You can't stop something like that, Lilly. You know that." You can't stop ruining it either. Just like my mom and dad._

_"I told you." I stated, getting my voice back up to it's normal level. "I told you that couldn't happen."_

_"It's not like I was hoping it would happen!" She choked out. Even if I was upset, I didn't want her to cry. I sighed and moved my thumbs in circles over her stomach. "I was hoping that you'd change your mind, though." I shook my head and bit my lip. I didn't want to tell her this. I didn't want to tell myself this. Everything was perfect, it was exactly how it was supposed to be, this wasn't supposed to happen. Everything is so wrong._

_"I can't." Miley sighed again and eased my hands away from her stomach before breaking away from me completely and standing up._

_"I know." She turned and started heading back home, not the way we came. She took a major detour and chose to take me to the beach rather than just meet me here like we usually do. Then again, I can see why. Our time was limited._

_"I'm sorry." I said quietly to her back. I didn't think she could hear me, but she froze and rolled her head to the left, not quite looking over her shoulder at me._

_"Me too."_

**-x-**

"Lilly bear, hand me that photo album, will you?" I nodded and knee-walked to her TV stand and opened the door to the bottom shelf. I ran my finger across the spine of the leather albums, marveling in how many memories had to be stored in these. Granny's entire life had been documented, she loved taking photographs, painting, drawing. Anything artistic, she did it.

"Which one, Granny?" I questioned.

"The maroon one." I nodded and slid the thickest album from the shelf and delivered it back to Granny, returning to my seat in front of her. She flipped it open with a sad smile on her face. The album held happy memories, I knew. All the loves of her life were in there. Lovers, family, animals, nature. Everything. She finished flipping about half way through and tapped the picture to show me where it was then handed it back to me. "Bernard."

"Bernard?" I hadn't heard of this man, or seen him in any pictures. The other three on these pages were of scarlet trees and beautiful rivers and I knew it was tucked within all of these pictures that no one else bothered to look at for a reason. He was a handsome man. Clear, blue eyes were twinkling with the happiness I used to see in Miley's eyes when we were together. His dark brown hair, nearly black, was cut short. He was wearing an Battle Dress Uniform. I could tell that this was going to be a sad story.

"It was in 1951. I was only 23, but a girl just _knows_ when she meets the one." I glanced up at Granny but remained quiet, she wasn't done. I went back to studying Bernard's facial features. "He was the best man I've ever met. He was a "Ladies first" kind of man, and even back then, it was hard to find." She chuckled and shook her head. "He made it his job to always open a door for me. I would try to race him and open it first, your Granny is a very independent woman. One time he just barely beat me to the door and swung it open quickly so I could get through without breaking step." She laughed again. "Hit himself right in the face, blackened his eye." I grinned as I recounted Oliver doing the same thing one time. "I would have married him if I could have, but he wouldn't have it. He was off to war soon, and he didn't want his newly wed wife being widowed so soon. Bernard was a smart man, he knew the risks of war and didn't deny them, but he was a very proud American, he defended his country until his last breath." My stomach started churning as a tear slipped out of the corner of Granny's eye. She quickly wiped it away and coughed to clear her throat.

"You okay?" She nodded once and smiled back at me.

"A girl knows when she meets the one, Lillian." I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up her hand, quieting me instantly. "A girl knows, and whether she wants to admit it or not, she knows. I know you don't believe in that kind of love, dear, but... Well, I never planned on playing this card against you, but you'd believe anything I told you, right?" I nodded. "I loved Bernard more than I ever thought I could ever love any man. Losing him was the most terrible thing that ever happened to me. I know you love her, Lilly. Even if you deny it for the rest of your life, I know, and I know that you know it, too." I bit my lip. Miley was my best friend, I cared for her deeply, and I always knew that I loved her, but did I love her in the way that Granny loved Bernard, or was I just afraid of losing her all together if we went wrong? The answer I wanted wasn't the answer I got.

"I do."

"Then don't let her go. Don't let your Bernard go to a war that neither of you will win." I looked around the dim room, wondering what my life will be like when I'm 82. Granny lived a happy life, I knew, but I knew just from the look in her eyes when she was telling me about Bernard that she had to settle for less in life than what she wanted. My eyes returned to Granny and I knew she was right. I didn't want to settle. I fell for Miley hard, and even if I never planned on it, Miley was right. You can't stop this. I smiled at Granny and jumped up, returned the album to it's stand and gave Granny a gentle hug, but I knew she could tell just how many words I was trying to squeeze into it.

"Thank you, Granny. I love you." I whispered. I pulled back and smiled, which was quickly returned.

"I love you too. It's my job, dear. Now go, you have your own job to do." I grinned and turned to leave the room. My hand was on the brass door handle before something clicked in my head.

"Granny?" I asked, turning half way around with my hand still on the handle. "Was he...Is Bernard my...?"

"Do you really have to ask, dear?" I shook my head. I didn't. Mom looked nothing like Grandpa William. I flashed her another grateful grin before dashing from the nursing home.

**-x-**

I tore into the driveway and nearly rammed my '69 Chevelle into the side of the house before I remembered that I had to step on the breaks to get out and see Miley. I threw it in park and ripped the keys out of the ignition, almost forgetting to shut my door in my rush inside. I pulled my key out of my pocket, though I wouldn't have been surprised if she would have changed the locks just to keep me out, even if neither of us planned on me coming back. To me utter delight, the door was unlocked, but I only found Mister Stewart at the stove, no Miley chatting away about how her week was going when I burst in the day. He turned around, he knew it was normal for me to enter this way and my three week long absence must not have affected him as much as it did me. I knew I was wrong when I really looked at his face.

Dark circles under his eyes informed me that he was definitely affected by what happened between me and Miley. His dark golden hair, which he took so good care of appeared to be, dare I say it, greasy? I was shocked to say the least. He grinned when he was sure it was me and set his pan back on the stove and turned it off. He wiped his hands on his rag, grin still firmly in place and gave me a huge bear hug after tossing it onto his shoulder. I tried to hug him back, but this man loved to work out.

"Thank God you came back, Lilly!" He laughed out. He gave me one more good squeeze before releasing me and stepping back. "She's at your beach." My spirits almost fell, but I was ecstatic that he didn't hate me. If his appearance had anything to say about it, it's been a rough week for us all, and it was all my fault.

"Thanks Mister S!" I grinned at him before charging back out the door and racing to my car. I nearly hit his mailbox when I backed out haphazardly into the street. The short drive to the beach seemed to take forever, but it was just around the block. I was just about to pull into the parking lot when Mister Stewart's words rang in my head.

_"She's at your beach."_

"Emphasis on the "your", dumbass." I muttered to myself and swerved away from the parking lot and started the secluded drive to _our_ beach. It only a few minutes walk from the beach, but you had to take a residential street to get to it. And then through some trees. And over some rocks. Whatever, it's still amazing that no one found it. I parked in front of Oliver's house, we found the spot after playing some random game of baseball when we were younger and chasing after a fly ball. He was on his front step chatting with Sarah and Joannie, who immediately shot me a death glare upon my arrival. If looks could kill, I'd have been DOA.

"Where is she?" I questioned while climbing out of my car. Sarah shot up from her place on the step and started towards me with a fire in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter you're not seeing her." She spit out. Sarah was evil when need be. I glared back at her, but she wasn't who I was here for, and I took a step back and threw my hands up.

"I'm not here to hurt her." I said vehemently.

"It's too damn late for that!" She growled. I was getting sick of this quickly. I glanced at Oliver and arched one brow. He nodded and jerked his head towards the beach. I flashed him a quick smile, shot another glare at Sarah and ran towards the trees.

The pine needles in my arms and sharp pebbles in my flip flops didn't affect me as they usually do and I barely noticed them at all. My torn up toes finally hit the sand after far too long, and I bent over, hands on my knees, to catch my breath. When I do finally catch my breath, I lose it again immediately when I look in front of me. The sky is a rainbow of soft pinks, dark purples and vivid oranges. The water looks red from the sun, the light dancing and twinkling over the waves. But the beautiful scarlet water and graceful sky can't remotely compare to the brunette sitting just in front of where the water rolls in.

Her hair was tumbling over her shoulders and down her back, her already amazing tan had been browned to perfection. I would have killed to look in her eyes, but her back was to me, her attention completely on the setting sun. I debated with myself what exactly to say. I had raced here, but hadn't given a trickle of thought on how to do this. I decided to just go with the truth.

"I'm an idiot, Miley!" I shouted. She whipped around, her eyes widened and she jumped up.

"Lilly, you-"

"No." I cut her off. "No, let me talk." She seemed nervous. Hell, I'm not sure where my own boldness came from. She bit her lip and studied me. She must not have found what she was fearing because she nodded. She kept her eyes past me, staring at the trees behind me. I started towards her slowly. Shouting wasn't going to help. "I was stupid, and scared, and I don't want us to end up like Daddy." She glanced at me quickly, but didn't keep her gaze on me. "I did it because I didn't want to hurt you. I thought that staying away from you would keep you safe, keep me from hurting you. I never thought that my way of protecting you would be the thing to hurt you the most." She bit her lip, hard, and squeezed her eyes shut. "Please don't cry, Miles." I begged. "Please."

"You expect to just come here, give a little speech, and everything will be better?" She screamed. A couple of birds scurried to fly away. "Well this isn't a fucking romance novel, Lilly!" She glared at me, a fierce fire behind her eyes that I'd never seen. I was ashamed to be the reason for it. "Goddamn it, Lilly! Do you have any idea what I've been through?" I nodded, finally stopping just two feet from her.

"I do." I whispered. I didn't want to set her off.

"No! No you don't! You have no idea! You just..." She hiccuped and turned away from me. "You're a selfish, soulless, inconsiderate bitch." I clenched my jaw, but said nothing. Talking was obviously not my place right now and I couldn't afford to mess this up. She didn't talk for a several moments, just watched the sunset and shook with sobs. "No, you're not." My hopes skyrocketed, but I knew she wasn't done. She turned around and really looked at me. My heart shattered when I saw how broken she looked. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides, but I couldn't tell if it was because she wanted to punch me or hug me. "God, I hate you." She whispered.

"I love you, Miles." She started sobbing again and flung herself at me, wrapped her arms around my neck and mumbled words I just couldn't make out. I hugged her around her waist and pulled her flush against me. "I'm so sorry." She shook her head and squeezed me tighter. Not even my difficulty to breathe could ruin this.

"I know." She breathed out. She took a deep breath and held it in so long I thought she might pass out. She sighed as she pulled back and put her hands on the sides of my neck, her fingers splaying out onto my cheeks. "I love you." I grinned and kissed her nose lightly then leaned my forehead against hers. Her cheeks were tear streaked, her eyes red and slightly puffy, but she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever set my eyes on.

"I love you, too." I whispered. The sun was setting perfectly behind the waves, but I had my own shining star right in front of me. And I wasn't letting her go.

**-x-**

**Author's Note: Please, please review. I feel super rusty and while I love this, I'm terrified that you guys won't. Thank you so much for reading, even if you don't review. (Though I'll love you forever if you do!)**


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